THE PERILS OF INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVEL
Video games have come a long way since Asteroids. (ptew! ptew! ptew!).
Now for only 50 cents you can actually transport yourself into other dimensions. What a bargain, Asteroids cost 25 cents a million years ago.
I was watching a kid at an arcade and thought he was just playing one of those driving, crash-into-stuff, run over-people until I saw him getting all sparkly like when being transported on Star Trek. I could even hear that sound effect.
The lights dimmed and then he was gone. What the fuck?
I went over to the console and there he was on the screen in some weird candy land with giant lollipops and chocolate covered pork roll. He looked pretty stoked to be there, but it didn’t last long. The screen started counting down, 5,4,3,2,1 and flashed brightly.
Unfortunately, I was sitting right to where he was being returned and we morphed into a kid/curmudgeon beast like in The Fly.
The kid had my head, I had his body and our arms were sticking out our knees.
I was a little worried his parents might notice and get pissed at me. Really pissed.
The only thing to do was to try and reverse it, so he, I, we hobbled over to the change machine to get a bunch of quarters and see what we could do.
It took about 30–40 tries and over an hour, but we finally got pretty close to being separated and normal and decided to call it good.
I still have a few of his parts and has some of mine but they aren’t too noticeable. He has my ears and nose hair. Poor kid.
I think I have his belly button.
