Stock Up on Tube Food

So many choices. Buy two of each. Photo by Bill Brokaw

Humans are essentially just a collection of tubes. Arm tubes and leg tubes attached to the main body tube with a ball at the top. Just like a balloon animal.

The best way to keep our tubes healthy is through good nutrition with USDA certified tube food.

One of my favorite places at the grocery store is the tube department. Sometimes I browse forever before settling on what tubes I’ll have for dinner. Two or three tubes a day is the minimum recommended daily allowance.

Undocumented, faulty research by the tube food industry indicates the nitrates and additives in tube food makes it resistant to bacteria, mold, mildew, fungus, viruses, parasites and other pathogens. (This research that has not been published or peer reviewed.)

Tube food will last longer than the plastic it is wrapped in.

It’s not really necessary to be picky about your choices. All the tubes and the stuff inside come from the same factory in Shenhou, a gritty little, factory town about 30 miles from Jengbin.

It’s all good.