Delicious and Surprisingly Potent Cicada Nectar
Cicadas emerge every year, burrowing up from the soil, molting their old carapaces, then taking to wing to find a mate.
It’s a one shot deal and each year is a different brood. This past year, 2021, it was the legendary Brood X, the biggest brood of all.
In late spring/early summer about 300 million billion of these happy, horny bugs emerged and went nuts and flew around, singing and fucking.
What’s not commonly known about them is how sweet they are.
Wally found out about this and got a brilliant idea. Why not milk them see what you get.
After some experimenting, he perfected tiny little milking machines and could hook up hundreds of the juicy bugs at a time.
Wally collected gallons of the bug juice, boiled it down a little and added some cinnamon for a little extra flavor.
At first people were reluctant to try any, but Wally was persuasive and had an ace in his back pocket.
He would let people try a teaspoon to see how good it was. After a few minutes the nectar would make them feel warm, dreamy and relaxed. Colors became more vivid, sounds more distinct and aromas more intense. They felt a certain “energy” and wanted to find someone to love.
Naturally, they immediately bought a jar of the nectar even though it was priced a $250.00 a pound. The five pound jars sold out first.
Wally made out very well. He’s just hoping he’ll be around in 17 years to do it again.
He kept a few pounds for himself to make the wait more enjoyable.
